SMALL STEPS FORWARD

Some days it takes small steps to begin the day.

Each individual walks through the doors of a school and carries their own story. Whether it's a student or an adult, we all arrive to begin the day--but we may not be able to walk through the doors. Some days our stories can feel too much and get in our way.

This is when we need small steps.

Ava, a 9th-grade student, shared with me the gripping anxiety she felt thinking about a school day that would be filled with academic pressures and social expectations. She was physically stuck in her mother's car in front of the school and couldn't get out. Some days they sat for over an hour trying to make a plan to help her get out of the car. There was so much frustration and tension between Ava and her mother due to this frequent scenario, her anxiety increased even more.

Luke, an 11th-grade student, was frequently frozen at the doors of the school, unable to enter and hear the noise of the crowded hallways. His sensitivity to loud noises and chaos was overwhelming to Luke. Luke never felt excited to come to school because of this conditioned response to entering school.

Sara, a high school junior, carried the stress of her home life where her parents were struggling with their own day-to-day functioning due to loss of employment and mental health conditions. Sara had to take charge of household chores and caring for younger siblings. She was exhausted by the time she arrived at school each morning.

Eric, a 9th-grade student, felt anxiety about the uncertainty of his life. His parents were going through a divorce and separating into two homes. Eric felt no stability at home which affected his focus on school work, studying, and attempts to enjoy his high school world. Nothing felt worth making an effort, so he struggled with getting to school most days.

These stories and more could understandably stop anyone at the doors and get in the way of beginning a new day.

Fortunately, Ava, Luke, Sara, and Eric asked for help. They wanted to feel better. They truly wanted to reach the goal of earning their high school diploma. They also genuinely hoped to feel happy and actually enjoy their time at school.

They asked me to help.

I sat with each of these students and listened to their stories. They each felt a loss of control around the circumstances of their challenges. We created individual plans where they could begin to feel more in control. We defined small steps to move forward.

Here are a few small steps that helped Ava, Luke, Sara, and Eric:

1. Prepare the night before. Get organized with the backpack at the door, clothes ready, and lunch prepared. Go to bed at a reasonable time and set an alarm to provide enough time without feeling rushed.

2. Talk with parents and ask for support. Ask for what you need and what will help you begin your day with success.

3. Once through the school doors, immediately go see your school counselor for encouragement and a quiet space before the bell rings.

4. Breathe. Practice mindful breathing. Set your intentions to feel calm, confident, and happy. Visualize yourself walking through the doors with this image.

What small steps can you take today?